Friday, February 27, 2015

Day One

Do you have any idea how many "Day 1" s I have had over the last 12 years???  You don't really want to know!!  In AA counting days is very important...I came to learn that because of someone in my life years ago.  You earn chips or coins as you add days as a way of celebrating progress. I have had many days one' one of a new one of a new exercise one after breaking up with a boyfriend...
I hate day one!!  It always seems to be the hardest.  Breaking of bonds or old routines is ALWAYS hard.  Each day can bring new challenges and new separation anxiety from the past, from how we knew things to be.

This week I had another day one...Day one as an RN!
Tomorrow I will actually care for patients as an RN...Day one on the Unit I have been hired to work on for the next year.  God greeted my Day 1 with this beautiful sunrise!  The perfect word picture for my emotions and for the change in my life. The last 12 years have been TOUGH for me and my children.  Tough financially.  Tough emotionally.  Tough physically.  Just tough!!  By God's grace and through His strength we have endured and I truly believe we are headed into a new Era.  I am beyond thankful for what God has done in my life over the last 12 years!  I am beyond thankful for what He will continue to do in my life and the lives of my children.  He has promised to turn my grief into joy and to use ruin, ashes and the  heartaches in my life to produce something for HIS glory.  I believe He has and will continue to do that!

Please don't ever give up on Day 1...or any other day before you reach the goal which God has placed before you!  I earned that badge one day at a time!!  God spoke to my heart and led me into nursing me, where HE leads, HE provides!!  I will always bear testimony to that!!  God doesn't care about what seems impossible, after all He created you and I out of dust and a man's rib.  God doesn't pay attention to statistics, after all He fed over 5,000 men with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fishes!!  According to many...there was NO way to work full time and make it through nursing school.  According to stats, my children shouldn't be successful, honor roll, productive, caring, kind considerate children after suffering the tragedy they did so early in their lives and without a Dad in their lives. According to many, I should have or was expected to suffer an emotional breakdown, after watching my husband suffer and die, then watching my Dad suffer and die, then raising 4 babies on my own.  Hear me now...

I may have
I didn't!

His promises are true!
His strength is real!
His presence is breathtaking!!

Does that mean life doesn't hurt?  HA!  
Does that mean only sunshine from now on for the Stayers??  HA!!
I have already cried myself to sleep one night this week....change is hard!
I have already faced challenges getting that badge and the pay that goes with it!
I have already felt great anxiety over all that I have to learn and the responsibility that goes with it!
Has proven Himself faithful!
Walks with me when I am afraid...and every other time!
Provides where He leads us!

His mercies are NEW for every day...whether it be a day one or year 12!!
Sit quietly, pause and think on that.... :)     

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