Friday, January 2, 2015

Reflections from 2014

2014 began with the following verse..." And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." I John 4:16.  And so began a year of seeing heart shaped things all over the place, reminders to me to focus on God's extravagant love for me.  What did I learn by focusing on that all year?
God's love for me is sacrificial.  John 3:16
God's love for me reaches beyond the heavens. Psalm 36:5
His love NEVER fails. Psalm 6:4, Psalm 107:8
His love endures forever! 1 Chronicles 16:34, Psalm 107:8
His love for me is an example of how I should love others. John 15:17, Ephesians 4:2-6, 1 John 4:19
Nothing, NO THING can separate me from God's love for me!   Roman 8:39
God IS love, it is not only His character, it is completely who He is. 1 John4:16
God's love completes me. 
"This is how we KNOW what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us...dear children let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3: 16,18

One of the biggest events and biggest struggles of 2014 was the marriage of my daughter.  Don't get me wrong, I was VERY happy for my daughter and her new husband.  They are a great couple and trust me they will change the world that surrounds them!  But for me it brought BIG waves of grief, unexpectedly.  After 12 years you would NOT.  I had many pity parties...they were grand in nature!  I stomped my feet and got mad...this is NOT the way I had planned my life and my daughters wedding!!!  I was supposed to walk through this time of transition with my husband....her Daddy was supposed to walk her down the isle and dance the "Father-daughter" dance with her...
Instead....I watched my daughter walk down the isle with her brother, do the dance with her father-in-law, and experienced the hurt of my first child leaving home alone....okay not alone.  My family and closest friends knew my much as they could.  My Savior walked through it WITH me.  He knew the deep pain, He caught my many tears and lifted my head and gave me the strength and energy I needed.  There is NO other companion, encourager, listener, lover of me like my God!!! 

2014 ended with an unbelievable bang!  As I sat in a stadium full of people, surrounded by those I have struggled with, cried with, suffered with for 20 months...I sat in a surreal moment in time....the completion of another college degree...this one SO different from the last.  This one is truly a calling by God.  Unlike many I graduated with, I hadn't dreamed of being a nurse since childhood...this represented an adult calling by God in my life.  It also represents God turning ashes into gold in my life.  I have lost, I have been brokenhearted, I have experienced sickness and death with the dearest, closest men in my life....God says, "I have plans for you Pam!  With MY strength, MY power, MY words, MY touch, MY story GO....touch lives, share MY healing...complete healing not just physical, make a difference in the lives around you...and this is how...back to school."  REALLY God???  REALLY??  How??  Blah, blah, can guess my excuses!!  At the close of this chapter of my life and looking towards the next...One of the biggest lessons I have learned and wished I could/would ALWAYS rest in, is this: if God calls you to do something, walk through something HE WILL PROVIDE!!  His provision is abundant!!  Was 2014 an easy year for me???  NO!!!  I struggled, cried, yelled "WHY ME?"...but I have grown tremendously!  I am not the same person I was last year and I have only God to thank for that!  To know and rely on the LOVE God has for you will change you!  He IS love, He is faithful and He will walk with you to the finish line no matter what the trail look like!

No comments:

Post a Comment